2009 Gary Duenas Memorial Scholarship Winner, Kristen Soobin Ahn with her family and Wayne Griffin and Michelle Nalaboff.
2009 Gary Duenas Memorial Scholarship Winner, Kristen Soobin Ahn with her family.
2009 Gary Duenas Memorial Scholarship Plaque, donated by Elva Padilla.
Wayne Griffin and Michelle Nalaboff.
Kristen Soobin Ahn is the 2009 Gary Duenas Memorial Scholarship Winner.
Kristen will attend UC Irvine in the fall of 2009.
The following is Kristen's essay:
What was the biggest challenge you overcame during your four years in High School?
When I was young, my parents passionately told me that “nothing is impossible” with passion. My parents wanted me to do anything I desire and to determine my own future. With that in mind, I saw art as my one, clear path. Taking art school for five years, I had no doubt that one day I could be a great painter. I believed that when I became an artist, I would paint beautiful portraits of people and landscapes.
However, due to a neuromuscular disease I have had since I was born, around ten years old, I could feel that I was gradually losing feelings in my hands and legs. It was at this time that I truly realized the impact this disease would have on my life. Darkness seemed to surround me as I saw myself being unable to do even simple things like walk or pick something up.
That day came soon enough when I was forced to begin using a wheelchair at age eleven. I also had to learn to use my left hand because of the severe degeneration in my right one. To make matters worse, I could not draw well with my left hand. That effectively meant that my plans for painting were over. Thus, I felt like my future was fading away. If I could have painted a picture of how I felt at the time, I would have painted a fragile, lonely girl by herself in dark colors, full of pain and sadness. Countless times, I asked myself, “Why do I have to suffer so much?”
But life went on and when I saw my friends starting to run toward their dreams in high school, I realized that I must surmount my physical handicap to accomplish my dreams as well. With a new attitude, I started adjusting to everything with my left hand. Though it also has minor neuromuscular disease, I have learned to appreciate what I have, and I am grateful that I can still use my left hand to write, eat, and open doors. Although I have to look up to see others in my wheelchair, I know that I can do everything that they can. The only difference is that I am sitting down while others are standing up. Before, I used to fear people staring at me. Now, I smile at others first because I am confident in whom I am. While my friends accomplish things by competing with others, I accomplish things by competing with myself. I have overcome my fear of the world and found myself as I came to love myself. I am not physically strong, but my heart and spirit are.
Overcoming my physical handicap has made me the person I am today. As a child, I remember being inconsiderate about others. Now, because of my physical handicap, I can truly empathize with others and easily put their needs ahead of mine. I say that surmounting my physical difference is my challenge but also an “experience” and “accomplishment” because it has been an experience learning to live without feeling like a caged bird. This “experience” taught me to be a mature, nonjudgmental, and open-minded person.
There is a huge painting that I drew when I was nine years old in my family’s dining room. Looking at it, my mom once told me that I draw everything honestly and with a pure heart because I do not judge anyone based on appearances. Now, I smile at that old painting and tell myself that while my past was beautiful, I am going to make my future even better by accomplishing everything I want to with my endless passion. Today, if I could paint, I would draw myself in bright colors, representing my hope for the future, in the middle of a crowd, the center of happiness.
